In such a foreign land, even the simplest things can be very difficult. Luckily, this phone has English instructions. You are re-going over the order with your salesperson Femi, when you remember something from the history books.

"Hey, am I getting all the cables I need for this equipment?" you ask.

"Man, computers haven't used cables for decades," says Femi laughing.

After a few clicks and beeps interrupt the call, an operator comes on. "You need to deposit two dollars for the next 3 minutes."

"Two dollars? What are you talking about? I put in a quarter."

"Sir, you're calling Tokyo," says the operator.

"I know where I'm calling."

"Do you know where you're calling from?" asked the operator.

"Don't tell me I've come all the way here and this is STILL not a local call. I'll tell you this, on this dinky planet this sure as hell is a local call and I paid my quarter."

"Sir, local calls are 20 yen in California. Deposit two dollars or you will be cut off."